thanks america for not killing us yet

We finally had our first "Whoops! Nobody checked the bird last night to see if it was properly thawed" Thanksgiving at chateau Fjords. There was also exploding bread and broken sauce. Somehow all of our improvisational quick fixes worked out beautifully and everything was fine in the end. The broken sauce went back together. The giant bread was airy and golden. The turkey was dead and did not care. There was family and fun and a walk in the rain. Huzzah!

I had a great day. I even briefly entertained the idea of thinking up things I am thankful for.

But, no. I will spare you. I did take a look around to see everyone else's lists, though. Apparently lots of people are thankful for:

1) Luck, God, nature, and other real or imaginary forces of apparent ambivalence. 

2) Not being terminally ill or dead. 

3) Not being a starving African child or a victim of white colonialism (uh... maybe rethink that last one, really--I'm pretty sure we all bit it regarding this part, in one way or another).

4) People who have formed positive relationships with them. 

5) People/forces who have abused or mistreated them. "They made me so much stronger!"

6) Stuff.

7) AMURRICA. (see numbers 3, 5, 6)

8) Sports teams.

9) Personal accomplishments or talents. (???)

I don't know.... Aside from #4 and possibly #5, it all seems a bit contrived to me. Does randomly not dying this year actually make most Americans feel fuzzy waves of gratefulness? Together? On schedule? Somehow I doubt it. And who are you feeling thankful toward for your having taught yourself to paint better? 

Maybe most of us just take "thankfulness" to mean "happiness". Or "preference" or "relief". Or maybe even just "being aware of a benefit," as one newer online dictionary limply proffers as an alternative meaning for "thankful". As in, I would prefer to be alive instead of obliterated at the moment and Grunt McMustache is happy the Piggers are winning. We are relieved our would-be murderers did not crush our resolve or our capacity for growth. We prefer not to have leukemia (k thx) and we are aware it is a benefit to feast and not starve. 

I feel a bit too grinchy deconstructing people's Thanksgiving lists. It's probably not a bad thing for us to reflect on what we've got, even if we don't always describe it well or understand the full significance of it. I'd rather see proof that people are interested in getting our asses in gear to rectify a lot of our joint problems.... but... maybe I am actually seeing a bit of that, too. I'm still being sarcastic in this post title, though. Take that, Pollyanna.

Anyhow, I love my family. I kind of liked reading people's lists after all, even though at first I mind-gagged. I'm warm and full and probably safe for the moment.

Also, spotted on the news today: an Immortal Technique The Martyr poster in a tent at Occupy DC. :-)

Good, impotent wishes to all! And a merry Buy Nothing Day! Let's expand on the notion and crash this burning dirigible, eh?